March 31, 2006: Thus Spake Me
Friday, March 31, 2006
(God's column appears in this space every Friday.)As I’ve said once before, Let there be light!
I hadn’t planned on taking time off this past month—you’d think a Supreme Being would have time totally sussed, and yes, I do—but let Me admit, a little sheepishly, that I read some of Josh’s Allman Brothers reviews and got so hopped up that I too spent most of the month camped out at the Beacon. The two things I love more than just about anything else are math and music, two of My greatest inventions, and indeed two sides of the same coin. (and in case you’re wondering: yes, I do like King Crimson.) Music and math are the dual languages of life. Music communicates the essence of life to your heart and soul; math to your brain (well, probably not YOUR brain; unfortunately you need to be real smart to get that buzz from math. Like, Stephen Hawking smart.) The Allman Brothers did indeed paint a sonic canvas full of the beauty and magic and light of life. But read Josh’s reviews; he says it better than I ever could.
ITEM: Gospels of Prosperity.
Apparently there are some very popular pastors preaching a gospel of prosperity; the idea is that God “wants you to be rich.” Let me clarify that. I don’t much care if you’re rich or not; indeed I’ve observed an inverse correlation (Dang, I do love Me My math!) between wealth and Godliness. What I want is for you to be as good a person as you can, seek truth, treat each other well, and remember to call your mom. I understand the appeal of the notion that God wants you to be rich—you can use religion to excuse your own materialism, which is an ugly, ugly trait no matter what you choose to clothe it in. But remember the thing about the camel and the eye of the needle?
And too, why is it that the prototypical Good Christian is always some bland generic milk-fed character who looks like a closeted homosexual? Don’t take my word for it; look at this guy. Or this guy; apparently he and the family have their hair done in 1984.
ITEM: The Bible Doesn’t Justify Anti-Gay Bigotry.
You might be inclined to believe that something in the bible tells you that you, personally, should not be gay. That’s on you, and hey, your call. But surely there is no passage that suggests that you should prevent homosexuality, or that you should in any way alter your conduct towards someone who is gay. The conduct stuff you will find is all “turn the other cheek,” “love thy neighbor,” stuff like that. So if you read the bible and conclude it justifies your own anti-gay bigotry, well, that’s something you bring, not something you find.
Posted by: --josh-- @ 10:38 PM
Good to hear that GOD is an ABB fan! No wonder their music doth speak to thy soul so righteously... the "Allman Brothers do indeed paint a sonic canvas full of the beauty and magic and light of life."
Mayhap... and this is just a stretch... but under this view, as ABB fans we then may be considered Angels (even if of the Fallen variety) and our purpose is to spread the religion??? For we shine in its light... and want others to experience the same understanding. There is nothing more satisfying (well, perhaps I could think of a couple things) then to convert a once unknowing soul or non-believer. The truth speaks for itself!
Do you think that values could be assigned to each of the above variables and then a mathematical equation put forth that could validate this hypothesis?
Lo, Cletus! Ye speak the truth!
If you're going to evangelize, might as well evangelize something that is guaranteed to bring light and spirit and joy to your fellow man. Hallelujah. Yes, you are angels. Peach angels.
He hath spoken. Let his word be known…
But in the words of our bands sole living namesake…….."I'm no angel."
1) If God loves math so much, why did he allow Mrs. Dubin to teach 10th Grade Geometry at Hewlett High? Because the woman was not at all gifted. That class would produce nuclear fission before it produced another Stephen Hawking.
2) Note to Josh: God just said you wrote better than He does. Bonus!
3) Stephen Bennett, of the Stephen Bennett Ministries, looks so closeted it hurts. Like his "true nature" is trying to ooze out from between his perfect teeth. The man needs an intervention by Harvey Fierstein.
It never ceases to amaze me how "Love thy neighbor" somehow turned into "Hate the homosexuals." What, are you only meant to love your neighbor if they are Christian, or somehow sin free? Did Jesus not say, "He who is without sin cast the first stone?" I really wonder if some of these fundamentalists ever read the Bible.
They read The New Testament and interrept to their own needs.
But at the Beacon last night, Bob Weir and the hot rats, and some of the grungiest hippies that I have seen since the 70's. Made me yearn for real grunge or punk
So maybe I am bigoted
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