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A penny for your thoughts indeed. Around here that would be a raise.

What makes a good blog? I think thematic consistency, a little exhibitionism, and honest writing. I can promise you the last one.

Most of my posts seem to be about music or politics. Some of them are funny. But all of them would love to hear a comment from you.

Oh-- and please welcome God to the APW team. We're thrilled and humbled to serve as His earthly vessel.

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I was born at a relatively young age. Growing up consumed the better part of my childhood. As a young man I chased a lot of girls. But they kept getting away. Then I got older and even slower, so I got married. I've lived in New York City almost since before I moved here. I summer in Manhattan, which is like New York City, but with more humidity.

Here's me, without baby, thinking big thoughts. (Actually, what I'm thinking is, "Hey, these aren't Pringles!") I think I look better with baby.

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Thus Spake Me: February 3, 2006. Gimme That Ol' Time Religion
Friday, February 03, 2006
(God's column appears in this space every Friday.)

Last week I teased a mention of December 21, 2012. An interesting date, because on that date, according to the Mayan Long Calendar, the world-- or this iteration of it, at any rate-- comes to an end. The Mayans are long gone, yet they were persnickety enough to pinpoint the precise date, far in the future (for them), on which the world would end.

I don't know if you believe in coincidences, but trust Me, there are no coincidences. So when you ponder that the ancient Egyptians also posited an end date for the world as they knew it, and that their date turns out to be December 21, 2012-- well, like I say, there are no coincidences.

To most of you Westerners, it is the Egyptians that should be of interest. Because there is a direct lineage that may be traced from their civilization and stellar cult religion, through Abraham and the Jews (Abraham was not from Ur, as it says in the bible; he was an Egyptian, the Davidic line, through the Essenes and Christ, who spent his youth in Egypt studying the mysteries of the Ancient Egyptian/Jewish religious history. So there's a line from the Egyptians to Abraham and the Jews to Christ and his brother James the Just (or Jimmy J, as we used to call him)... and then Paul shows up and the whole thing goes to hell in a handbasket. Paul and James parted ways, and eventually Paul saw JImmy J put to death. But the truth and wisdom went with the J-man, not Paul, and everything in Paul's wake has been hopelessly muddled.

I can't tell you exactly what happens on 12/21/2012-- that would be like insider trading-- but I can tell you two things. One, this is the "End of times" your lunatics are all hopped up about; and two, after this time, there is most certainly a Next Time. It will not be a better time or a worse time; but it will be a profoundly different time.

Much of your vaunted "New Age" philosophy is an attempt by the collective inner spirit of mankind to reconnect with the ancient wisdom. Of course looking for crystals in Sedona won't help, but you know what, its as good a start as any. Even that faux Kabbalah that your hipsters and scenesters are so besotted with; the true wisdom is indeed encoded into Kabbalah, but the stuff she does is not Kabbalah, its just New Age wrapped in a Jewish tortilla. (The former is pronounced "ka-ba-LA;" the latter, "ki-BAAA-luh.")

The true teachings of Christ are the ancient ways. But they have been lost. Find them. Find them before it is too late. And don't look in the bible for them-- at least not in the gospels. But find them, I beseech thee, by 2012.

You have all the clues you need.

Posted by: --josh-- @ 10:15 PM  

At 2/04/2006 2:51 PM, Anonymous Annie said...   

Great. Only six more years, and I just put up wallpaper.

At 2/06/2006 3:16 PM, Blogger minty said...   

The Google ads that show up here after God posts are pretty hilarous. "Truth about the Rapture"; "Christian Singles"; "How to Know that God Loves You"; etc.

At 2/06/2006 3:48 PM, Blogger God said...   


Let's put it this way. Don't plan on another wallpaper job.


If you think these Google ads are funny, you should see Satan's blog.

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